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crap.
i really need that Xiyao's advanced class.
hongkong in jun. wish me luck
i cant seem to forget. or better yet, i dun seem to want to forget. its taking me all my effort to not text her, or call her, or even think about her. cuz all i seem to do right now, despite my greatest efforts, make me think of her. cant seem to draw my mind away. sigh.
i only hope she's doing well.
i wish i were still by her side...
tht pretty much sums up my emotions rite now.
my whole life, i've kinda lived on a set base of principles, tht i have refused to compromise on. 1 of which, is speaking the truth, no matter the price, no matter the consequence. i juz refused to understand, how telling a lie, is beneficial to anyone.
now though, i seem to be swinging the other way. sometimes, living a lie, no matter how brutal it mite be, seems like the better way to go. is the truth really so overated? cuz sometimes, lying, actually, makes the world a better place. the truth stings. all the time. i feel like i'm juz living a lie now. i dunno wat i want. i dunno how to move on from my current pt in life. and that whole set of principles, juz seem so, useless. i dun even understand myself anymore, when i look at myself in the mirror. lol.
its crazy, how 1 small thing often leads to another.
life moves on, one way or another. we juz gotta find a way to chug along with it i guess.
take care.
its hard having to live life, and living for not juz urself. its not that i dun like it, but sometimes knowing ur actions will hurt ur loved one, only heightens and deepens the pain.
if only life was simpler. if only the pain would be on me.
sry for hurting u.
plz dun ask why
bye
heys guys.. juz hoping u guys could do me a favor...
Jobs Offers for the following few (Perm or Temp Staff both required):
1. Medical Records Officer :
-preferbly Male
-min O or A lvl grads
-Pre-enlistees are welcome
2. Admin Assistant
-Dip min
-Admin duties
-Office hours/5 days
3. Account Assistant:
-Min. Diploma in Accountancy
-With or without experience is fine
-Fresh Grads may apply
4. Clinic Asst/Receptionist/PSA
- customer service in clinic/hospital
- Office hours/shiftwork
- n/o levels minimum
If Interested or needing more info, plz call 67363280 OR send your resume over to nursing@recruitexpress.com.sg (Attn: Ethan)
*Job offers are applicable only to Singapore Citizens or PRs*
Hope to hear from you all..
lately.. i havent been slping well.. i cant even close my eyes for 10 mins straight.. it always takes me til like 3 am to slp, when i'm totally worn out and half past dead.. i keep asking myself the same thing.. i'm coming 20 this yr.. wat have i done for these yrs.. wat's the things i've done to show tht; "HEY, i'm alive damnit.. i've done something to make my worth.." and after thinking so long.. my conclusion is... WTF HAVE I DONE???!!! the only god damn thing i've done in my whole entire fuking life is waste the LIFE I"VE BEEN GIVEN.. AND THT IS IT...
i have a pretty gd life.. a gd family.. a gd background.. gd schs... gd education.. ALL i ever did.. was piss on them and take them for granted.. all i cared bout was myself, and only myself.. whining bout this, whining bout tht.. and i'm so so sick of it.. i wasted my 4 yrs in sec sch, living life, and complaining every single day, instead of doing any better.. i floated thru my 3 yrs in poly, concentrating on nuthing, except clubbing and drinking.. THE ONLY FUK i got out of it, was bad grades, and a whole lot of useless frens i could do without.. of coz, thnk god for the gd ones tht i have met.. u guys noe who u r.. 401, yuling, jeff and the gang, the ones in WG tht i still keep in contact with, and a whole lot more. there are juz too many to list.. u guys noe who u r, as long as i still bother to contact ya.. =S =P.. least the other gd thing tht came out of it is, i realised how lucky i was..
i noe wat ur tinking by now.. great, ethan's whining bout his so-called pathetic life again.. sighz.. and u noe wat.. ur probably right.. i am whining.. but if i dun get this off my chest, its gonna kill me.. this feeling sucks.. its just so EMPTY.. like u dunno wtf ur doing alive.. and thts juz eating me up alive.. its sickening..
now all i can do, is juz hope i can do something abt this, and not make all this time tht has past be for nuthing.. gotta look 4ward afterall.. =) so wish me luck k.. hopefully this will be the last "emo" post i'll be doing from now on..
so til then, take care guys.. and thnks for wasting ur time reading these LONG LONG paragraphs of rubbish.. =D
juz finished ubin marathon ystd.. juz wanted to blog abt it.. cuz found it pretty funny.. lol
reached Pasir ris sea sports club arnd 7 in the morning.. was half excited, half worried.. due to my injured wrist.. was worried bout how i would perform without having the wrist recovered fully... started the race arnd 930, in K2, with my partner Jia Jun...
this yr was different.. we started in the opposite direction as previous yrs.. starting off towrads chek jawa at the start... the start, was as usual, exciting and full of adrenaline.. accidentally capsized this pair of K2 ladies.. I"M SO SRY!! lol.. anyway.. it turned out fine.. a little choppy at the start.. but nuthing we couldnt cope 4 the moment.. til we reached CHEK JAWA... this is the choppiest and worst part of the ubin race.. and the weather ystd was INSANE.. with waves REACHING MY CHEST LEVEL.. ARGH!!! caused us to not capsize, but SINK!!! for 5 TIMES!!! irritating!!! lol.. tried in vain to continue, but couldnt, so had to retreat and backtrack to a nearby island, called Frog Island.. dunno why is it named so.. :S
anyway.. while going to the island.. i was wondering whether our sch's other pair of K2 would be there, and sure enuff.. there were stuck there too.. lol.. apparently they ended up sinking too.. the sight at the island was pretty funny.. lol.. u could see the whole fleets of K class boats being on the island, all forced to stop the race due to similar reasons.. so in the end we rowed back to the mainland, in a formation, juz in case of further capsizes.. took quite awhile.. as the weather wasnt letting up, and soon everyone ended sinking again.. lol..
was pretty disappointed with myself, as i wasnt able to finish the race.. felt pretty sad.. but kinda let it go after awhile.. cuz there wasnt anything more i could have done about it.. thnx to my partner Jia jun, i managed to enjoy the race, even though it was pretty funny.. haha.. (AND i realised that SAJC ppl can swim pretty well... haha)
this race brought back plenty of memories.. with this being possibly being my last race in a K.. its been fun, but its getting much too tiring to keep competing.. TIME TO TAKE A BREAK.. =)
on another tone though.. i'm seriously gonna die.. tink the sun got to me.. aching all over, and my head's splitting with a horrible headache... and my stupid wrist pain has worsened.. :S extended from my wrist to my whole arm.. so irritated with it.. lol
nuthin much to update bout.. life's stil boring and lousy.. so no diff there..
meet up everyone soon k???!!!
bye..
